Born to sin and then get caught
All our good deeds don't mean squat...
Guilt is bitter, grace is sweet
Park it here on the mercy seat...
When we don't get what we deserve
That's a real good thing, a real good thing
When we get what we don't deserve
That's a real good thing, a real good thing.
(A Real Good Thing, Newsboys)
New Year's. An opportunity to choose Change. A fresh start on forgotten resolutions. No, not forgotten... ignored. Discarded. Unchosen. Paul knows what I'm talking about. The battle that rages between flesh and spirit. Between what I want and what I choose. Between what I resolve and what I do. (Romans 7:15-20)
My struggle isn't with not doing the don'ts. For the most part, I'm a good girl. Ask my parents. They'll tell you. Don't lie. Don't do drugs. Don't hit or bite or kill. No problem, I can avoid all that. Most of the time. My battle is fought on the other side of sin: doing the do's. Love your neighbor. Share Jesus. Pray without ceasing. Seek the Kingdom. Be bold. Have courage. But instead I find myself defeated by fear. Complacency. Insecurity. Indifference. Pride. These are the things that separate me from God. These are the sins I'm born to. These are the sins I'm caught in.
But grace is sweet! And I desperately need it. Not the kind of grace that erases wrongdoing, but the kind that conquerors the depravity inside my heart. The kind that creates a new spirit within me. The kind that draws me ever-closer to my Creator and my Savior. The kind that gives me what I don't deserve. That's a real good thing, a real good thing.
This year's resolution: to park it. Right here. On the mercy seat. Where my sin collides with his grace.