I ran tonight. I hate running. Just the thought of running makes me feel like this...
But sometimes I make myself run just to remind myself that I can. I usually start off fairly confident. But then I look at my watch and see that it's only been 2 minutes. My legs are already tired. The cramp in my side hurts when I breathe. That's when the battle begins. I tell myself, "Just stop running. Walk instead. You weren't built for this." Tonight I didn't listen. I welcomed the burning lungs and the heavy legs. I kept running. And I started praying.
I prayed for perseverance. I prayed for stamina. I prayed for determination.
Almost 2 years ago I met Scott and Denise and joined their race on a road bound for Dublin. I started off confident. But now, 2 years later, my legs are getting tired. My heart is heavy. Others have joined the team. They've passed me. They're getting closer to the finish line. And though I can hear them cheering me on, encouraging me to stay strong, it's hard to watch them pull further ahead. I hate being left behind.
But it doesn't matter. I accept the challenge to keep running. And I will keep praying... for perseverance, for stamina, for determination. And in the end, I, like Paul, will say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith!"
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith... so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. --Hebrews 12:1-3
Ok, first of all - great blog! I sometimes trick my brain into thinking that I too am a runner, but then my body says otherwise. As far as the mission Jo, I am not going to sugarcoat what's happening (you have enough people doing that). It sucks right now & I know a little what it feels like to be left behind.
ReplyDeleteI am not one of those people that are good at waiting & living for the journey rather than the destination. I too am trying to figure out my place in this world & what exciting story I want to tell, but it's tough! It's hard not to start questioning everything that you're doing.
That's all I've got. I love you & am so glad to know you.
~Monica